Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
