I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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