I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Operation Purity has been aborted
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
