It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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