420 ftw
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
