Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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