i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
