i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
