You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
