dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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