Joe is yelling at the trees again.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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