he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
