go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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