Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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