So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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