sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it's like iHOP with fire
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
