The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
