Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
