did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
In America we eat man semen.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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