haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
