Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
