Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
