so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
