did you get engaged???
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
