Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
