I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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