it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
