Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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