and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
