Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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