she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
