It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
