the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
