a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
