That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He? As in you personified your dick?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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