Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
