Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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