My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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