So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
