He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
