Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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