We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
