I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
