I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
