YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
