I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
