you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
im on a boat
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