She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Randomize
