Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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