Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
