doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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